Deep Listening To Connect!

"When we meet things, looking for the life they hold, we tend to listen and receive. We tend to engage and join. When we meet things as lifeless and inert, we tend to observe and manipulate. How we move through the world depends on whether we view everything we meet as self-contained or as containing all of life. If I see a stone as merely an object in the way or as some weight I can use, I am drawn into a limited plane of living that is governed by problem solving: this piece fits here, this one does not, this piece will help me get over there, this one is in the way. Being so strategic may shorten my to-do list, but it doesn't open me up. With no sense of how things are connected, I may move things along without ever being touched by life." - Mark Nepo, Seven Thousand Ways To Listen

OMG... as I read and reread this writing by Mark Nepo, I felt a tug at my heart! How many times in my life have I treated people like the stone in his passage? This one fits here, this one does not, this one will help me get over there, this one is in the way. Many many times till I lost count! Forgive me for I was asleep in the past! It all makes so much sense now why I used to have trouble building meaningful relationships with others. And the feeling I used to have that there is something amiss in my life.

Connectedness... To connect with someone or something that we perceive to have a life of its own. That allows us to listen and receive, engage and join this life-form, be it a person or a stone, at a level where life breathes and lives. When we hold that perception, something within us reignite. Because it has a life of its own, LOVE pours out within us. We intuitively behold this person or thing with love which in turn brings with it compassion and peace. At this level, it is impossible to hate or kill or mistreat the other.

However, if we hold the perception that the other is lifeless or inert, or it doesn't have a life of its own (yet), the tendency to manipulate kicks in. For example, a parent may perceive that her child is too young to have a life of its own, may attempt to force her beliefs onto her child with the pretense that she is protecting her child for the child's sake. A team leader may perceive that those she leads are too inexperience to make a wise decision, may attempt to manipulate the discussion and decision making process.

Are you connecting in life? I wasn't in the past and now I'm making every conscious effort to listen deeply to connect. This helps me to be more alive and brings me more joy, love and peace. May you find your connectedness within.

Love Always,
Gladys